I have realized over the weekend that I'm basically a single parent. My boyfriend doesn't do anything but work 5hr days, 5 days a week, and hangs out with friends. He's never home, and when he is he doesn't help out around the house. The last time he did dishes or pick up around the house was before I quit my job. He sleeps in everyday, while I have to get up and stay up with the baby. I haven't slept in since Maire was born.
My duties include getting up with Maire in the morning, going to school, come home take care of Maire and pick up the house. While Nick's at work for five hours then off to a friends house, and dozen' get home until one o'clock in the morning or so.
This whole situation is very frustrating for me. I love taking care of and being with my daughter, but it would be nice to have some help once in a while. I can't go have time to myself, because he always is, and I have to stay home. I need help to fix this situation, because I'm not sure what to do. I want to fix it in a positive manner as well. I tried talking to him about it and he says it isn't his problem. Then when I'm stern with him he gets mad. I just want some alone time. I think that's why I love school so much, is because I'm by myself.
This is a big bump in our relationship right now, because it effects our parenting. I want to be the best parent I can, I can't be with out the other half.
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Dealing with dividing child care can be VERY hard!! In fact, dealing with children in general can be very hard! And when you feel like you're doing everything without help it's even worse. I find I start getting resentful. Have you two had a serious talk about this? I found my first year home with both kids (I worked when the first was little and then took a year off when the second one was born) that I really needed to give my husband some alone time with the kids. He was at work all day, and I just think he didn't realize how HARD it was to deal with little ones all day long. One day I made plans for a whole day and left him to deal with everything. By the time I got home he had a whole new appreciation for what I was doing.
ReplyDeleteI totally understand what you said about school being your alone time. I felt the same way about teaching school. It felt so good to get out and interact with adults and be known as something other than "Mommy." Now that my kids are older, it's less a necessary escape. They do get easier in some ways when they're older.
I hope you and your boyfriend can have a serious talk. He needs to understand how frustrated you are. If he doesn't help you're going to get burned out and very crank,y and that's no fun for him either. My theory is everyone's happier when Momma's happy. :-) Good luck!
-Kristen